The Secret Diary of .. Sheriff D Seymour

MONDAY
It was a bright cold day in September, and the clocks were striking thirteen. A cold wind swept through the main street of Dodge. Rain was headed over the mountain range and would wash all the scum off the streets – but not if Sheriff Seymour, First Minister of Moral Conduct and Freedom For All Within Set Bounds, got there first.
He rode his high horse into the saloon.
“Your finest whiskey,” he ordered, “and I’ll have tap water.”
The bar fell silent. The card players put away their hands, and the honky-tonk piano player closed the lid.
Just then Governor Luxon walked through the swing doors.
Sherriff Seymour got off his horse, and extended his hand in greeting.
But as the Governor reached out to shake it, Sherriff Seymour pushed him over.
The Governor lay on the floor of the saloon until Sherriff Seymour helped him back up to his feet.
No one said anything. They had seen it all before.
The Sherriff stood at the bar and sipped at his water. No one joined him.
TUESDAY
Sherriff Seymour rode his high horse into City Hall.
“I don’t like these here Treaty principles,” he said. “I say we burn ’em to the ground!”
Just then Governor Luxon walked into the debating chamber.
The great hall fell silent. Everyone waited for the Governor to say something, to remind the Sherriff that the Treaty principles would remain intact.
Sherriff Seymour got off his horse, and extended his hand in greeting.
But as the Governor reached out to shake it, Sherriff Seymour pushed him over.
The Governor lay on the floor until Sherriff Seymour helped him back up to his feet.
No one said anything. They knew how politics worked.
The Sherriff took his seat in the debating chamber next to an assortment of lunatics and cave-dwellers that he had taken with him to City Hall.
“Fire,” they chanted, eyeing up the Treaty principles. “Fire!”
WEDNESDAY
Sherriff Seymour rode his high horse into the crystal places of the Ministry of Regulations For Everything of Grave Concern Affecting the Populace Especially That Part of the Populace with Money and Influence.
“How goes it,” he asked.
A consultant paid in gold said, “We aim to send a draft report on the agricultural and horticultural products regulatory review to ministers by year-end.
“Another review, of early childhood education regulations, has prompted 2300 submissions, some of them 130 pages long. They take a lot of reading.
“We are also upping regulatory capabilities by setting up three or four groupings of regulators that could share ideas.
“Some of us are advising on a Regulatory Standards Bill and others are advising on how to improve how regulatory assessments are done.”
No one listened, including the Sherriff.
THURSDAY
Sherriff Seymour rode his high horse into the church, and admonished the reverend for public statements opposed to his stand on wanting Treaty principles burned to the ground.
When he finished, the Reverend said, “May you walk with God.”
But no one walked with Sherriff Seymour.
FRIDAY
Sherriff Seymour tucked his high horse into bed. His companion had drank too much. “When will you learn,” chuckled the Sherriff.
He turned out the lights and got into the other side of the bed. He heard thunder booming in the canyons. Rain was headed over the mountain range and would wash all the scum off the streets. It was due in the last months of 2026.